The Digital Octopus

The digital octopus leaves none of us alone. In every waking moment is the need to follow, reply, post, share, like and tweet. All of our energy is directed into the endless quest to be constantly connected for it is through connections that we are known and not be to known is to be.. what? Left out? A non-player? It doesn’t bear thinking about it. So we don’t think and quickly rejoin the whirling fizz of communications to keep up with whatever it is we’re supposed to be keeping up with. It seems to me that the uncoordinated forces behind… Read MoreThe Digital Octopus »

Guide to finding a therapist.

Looking for a therapist is a tricky business. Here are ten tips to bear in mind while walking through the minefield to find the right person for you: Look out for these telltale signs –  1. If his or her wall is peppered with qualifications he may have some insecurity issues of his own. Think on. S/he might be trying to overwhelm you with learning rather than being able to reach out to help 2. If some of the certificates are wet or written in crayon s/he may not be the one you are looking for. 3. If his or… Read MoreGuide to finding a therapist. »

Invasion of the grey blocks

It happened about thirty years ago.  At first there were only a few of these little blocks pulling their host bodies around town. We used to think it amusing to see the faces lit up in blue-grey tones as they wandered thorough the cities. ‘What a strange way to live’ we thought as we chatted away.  But over time more and more faces were infused with the grey-blue. Now we needed these blocks to navigate our lives. Users were pulled through individual pathways regardless of where others were and what they were doing. The grey blocks redefined liberty. They made… Read MoreInvasion of the grey blocks »

Attention to…

Your attention is now a commodity. This is not a new phenomenon. For example television ratings and advertising are linked. If the right people are watching at the right time then the adverts, sponsorship etc are sold at the price to matches the viewers ability to pay. Newspapers and magazines are also designed to sell audiences to advertisers. Your attention has always been valued but the rise of the online world has changed the way this works. One of the great freedoms enjoyed by the consumer under the old system was that he or she could always switch paper and… Read MoreAttention to… »

Destroy the Fortress of Solitude!

Superman knew a thing or two about X-ray vision, changing in a phone box and flying around the world to turn back time. But why did he need a fortress of solitude? One argument is that being the only known survivor of his race Clark Kents’s racier alter ego felt the need to be alone with his thoughts. Melancholy comes easily to the man who feels apart from others. But perhaps this feeling of being apart from others is a common sensation for men. Men are three times less likely than women to seek help for mental distress. They are… Read MoreDestroy the Fortress of Solitude! »

Men and Emotions

While a great deal is written about the changing forms of masculinity and the ways in which men can address the practical challenges of their lives a great deal more needs to be done before men are ready to accept the legitimacy of their feelings and emotions. One of the greatest struggles we experience in therapy is getting men to see how their early years were shaped by the sensations, feelings and responses of those closest to them. A great deal of sense-making goes into rationalizing their experiences rather than realising their lasting impact. One by-product of this intellectual layering… Read MoreMen and Emotions »

Tour Guide

Imagine yourself in a new town. You have time to spare so you hire a tour guide. You meet at 9 am and he offers you an itinerary – the local museum, the waterfalls, the historic bridges, the castle etc. You turn up at 9 am all ready for the day. All goes according to plan – for the first three minutes. You follow his words and gaze around the charming little museum and then he’s off… First he talks about where the word museum comes from then what museums would be like if they were all under water, then… Read MoreTour Guide »

Stop Fighting: You’ll lose!

One of the most challenging aspects of life as a human is dealing with our brains. The history of our species is written into this ugly jelly sloshing around in our heads and there’s not much we can do about it. At the root of us is the reptilian brain, that core set of responses we share with reptiles and which still takes up space inside us – and it’s a good thing too. We might live in the twenty-first century but we still need to be aware of any dangers in our environment. The mammalian brain is still there… Read MoreStop Fighting: You’ll lose! »


It’s a common experience – that eerie feeling that you cant quite see the way ahead. As the Talking Heads song has it ‘Well – how did I get here?” But what you probably do when this happens is bury the feeling and just keep on keeping on. Here’s an exercise that you might try to open up your sense of the here and now and potentially re-orient yourself. It’s very hi-tech – you’ll need a pencil and paper. Step One – Who drew your map? We’ve all heard the cliché that life’s a journey but its worth taking a… Read MoreLost? »

Monkey Brains

Are you paying attention? Really? Are you? Or is your mind elsewhere already? Have you jumped a couple of lines to see how this ends? Is 300 words too long to wait? If it is and you are then settle down (or at least try to!) what you’re doing is utterly typical and completely in fashion Have you noticed that so much of your life is postponed, distracted, ill-focused? You walk down the street listening to music that reminds you of your past while emailing a friend about something that may or may not happen in the future. In the… Read MoreMonkey Brains »